How to Fight Fair

There is nothing fair about fighting but times like this occur in every relationship whether you deem it appropriate or not. What can save you is your ability to effectively rein in your worst impulses to trample another person’s points of view and relegate them into the background. As the star queen or king of the exchange ther person who wins feels they are being treated fairly while in fact they have lost their focus and the support of the other party that has withdrawn. So can we fight fair? Isn’t it an oxymoron?

Fighting Fair

Fight equals to a hot dispute or frayed nerves and lost tempers. When you tend to be a person that loses it frequently, you lose it on all accounts. If you take a look at the metaphors involving anger, you see that losing it means you give away the power into someone else’s hands, the control is not yours anymore and therefore you are on a losing end. What is more, you lose the ability to rebuild the link between the two of you. Now the other person dictates what they wish as you are the sorry party, sorry over the lost temper. But nothing that you have wanted to address before exploding is resolved, the lid is back but the feelings of unair treatment and the inability to deal with one’s emotive states is the crucial point that goes away. The other party, on the other hand, feels wretched and dismissed by the angry outburst, but also they feel the self rightous, indignant by your own inability to overcome the need to yell and be upset. As it clearly shows, no one is truly a winner, as neither party, in any kind of relation, achieves the desired state of balance as opposed to retribution that hurts the quality of the exchange and lays foundations for successive fights which are hardly described as fair. Once you have won, you will know how to manipulate another person by riding the wave of rightousness. The other one will normally feel the sense of being taken advantage of and have their blood boil again, this time, to protect their innocence and the inner child from receiving further blows to one’s ego.

How to Fight Fair?

If you fear being open and nag your partner to open up instead you may not get what you want, instead, you should observe your own reactions and choose your responses. Angry outbursts or fighting is the last resort, as either of the parties is being flooded with emotion which means they cannot reason as they should. If the issue is an emotional one, and it is, it should be considered wisely and in cold blood, but even that does not have to stop anyone from having a difficult moment. If you accept that in your partner in the light of other, more favorable qualities, your relation should go on without any major hitches. If not, you should probably seek professional help.

Categories: Personality

Overcoming the Shyness in You

There is nothing wrong with shyness in general, but like everything else, too much of it can be harmful. When you are too shy to talk to other people even when you really have to, then that’s a serious problem. It might get in the way of your advancement in life. Shy people rarely get the attention of others and in this day and age, you have to catch attention if you want to move up and make a name for yourself.

To help you out here are some steps that you can use in order to overcome your shyness:

Talk to People Whenever You Can

One way that you can win over your shyness is by talking to people whenever you have the opportunity. Try to take it as a challenge that you have to speak to people that you see especially strangers and those that you have seen for the first time. If you do that often enough then you would learn not to be afraid of other people.

Make People Notice You

One characteristic of shy people is that they do not want to get noticed. They would prefer that others do not know of their presence and they cringe from the idea of other people looking at them. So in order to get over your shyness, one thing that you have to do is to make people notice you and catch their attention. There are different ways that you can achieve this. As you learn to do it more, you would notice that you are starting to enjoy the attention that other people are giving to you.

Meet Two or Three New People Daily

You should make it a goal that you should meet two or even more people on a daily basis. At the end of a year you would have met hundreds of new people and some of those might turn out to be very good friends. There are different ways that you can meet new people. You can either use your work or you can join a club.

Start Talking

Introverts love to listen and that’s a good trait, but in order to win over your shyness you should learn how to dominate a conversation. You should make others listen to you instead of the other way around. They must recognize you as an authority on something. But your talk should be something with sense so people would really be drawn to you.

Change the Subject

You know when a conversation is dragging and is becoming boring. So at the first sign just go ahead and change the subject. That would prevent any dull moments from happening. Shy people would just wait for the other party to change the subject and if that doesn’t happen then, everything becomes boring. You should learn when to start talking about something else.

These are just some of the things that you can do in order to conquer your own shyness. It is not easy but you can do it.

Categories: Personality

Avoid Getting an Inferiority Complex

Developing a sense of inferiority can be a huge burden that can really hold back a person. It can seriously prevent a person from fully reaching his/her potential. That’s why it is necessary for you to be on the lookout for the early signs of inferiority complex. That would help you to cope with problems that you might encounter in life.

We have made a list here of some of the steps that you can take in order to prevent getting an inferiority complex.

Be on the Guard for Hidden Agendas

One of the most common causes why we feel inferior to others is because we are intimidated by someone. Usually a person is intimidating because they are out to gain something from us. They are bound to benefit from the way that they intimidate us. You should therefore be on the lookout for any kind of hidden agenda. If you find something suspicious and you see than another person is trying to intimidate you on purpose then stay away from that person. You don’t need to interact with them at all.

Know What You Cannot Change

When someone criticizes you, you should know those criticisms that involve things that you cannot change. If someone criticizes you because of something that was caused by your genes then you should realize that there is nothing you can do about it. Things that you can change can be taken as challenges. You can work on those and you can develop things so that the negative aspects would be gone, but you just have to accept the things that you cannot change at all.

Create a Wall

You should learn to create a wall of well-being. You should develop yourself behind this wall and learn not to be affected by the criticisms of others behind it. While working behind that wall, you should strive towards developing yourself and learning how to move forward. That is an important step that you can take in order not to develop an inferiority complex which can be very damaging to your self-identity.

Accept Criticisms

You should also keep in mind that not all criticisms are bad. There are some which can be very constructive and can help you towards developing yourself. You must learn how to accept this type of criticism and use it in order to develop yourself and make you a better person. In most cases the people who give out constructive criticisms are those who care for you and those who would like to see you succeed.

Stick to People Who Make You Feel Good

Actively seek out people who make you feel good about yourself. That way you would not have to be burdened by feelings of being inferior with them. We would always need the contact with other people and we cannot do without them so it is vital that we pick the right persons to work with.

These are just a few of the steps that you can take in order to avoid getting an inferiority complex.

Categories: Personality

From an Introvert to an Extrovert

If you are an introvert then you probably find it difficult to talk and communicate with others. While there is nothing wrong with being introverted, it does have certain disadvantages to it. In some ways it limits your life and what it is that you can do. So you have to think up of ways that you can conquer your own timidity. You have to learn how to deal and communicate with other people.

There are ways that you can take in order to become more of an extrovert. You should not believe that because you were born an introvert that you would die that way. You can change yourself, but it is not going to be easy. First you have to believe that it is going to be possible and then you have to see to it that you take the right steps in order to achieve that aim.

Here are some steps that you can take in order to become more of an extrovert.

Get Out

If you are introverted, you probably have the habit of sticking to your own place and rarely going out. But that would not give you the opportunity to interact with other people. So if you want to become more of an extrovert, the first thing that you need to do is to get out more often. Find some place where you are likely to meet people that you might find interesting so you can be drawn to know them a lot more.

Stop Thinking Too Much

Most extroverts act on impulse. That means they do not think too deeply about the possible outcomes of their actions. They act first and then think about it later, introverts on the other hand tend to think about the possible outcome of an action, which leads them to act little at all. Try risking a bit more with your decisions. That doesn’t mean that you need not think about your moves, but just acting more on how you feel at the moment.

Live for the Moment

Introverts tend to dwell on the past or to look forward to what can happen in the future. As a consequence, they do not have the full chance to enjoy what is going at the moment. Try to use your senses more and live for the moment. Look around and appreciate the beauty of your surroundings. Enjoy the fragrance of the flowers and the music being played. That would allow you to connect with a lot more ease with people.

Take Notice of the People around You

Start noticing the people around you. As an introvert, you might have chosen to ignore them when it suits you. But just try looking at them and see them as human beings. You would see them in a different light and it would be a lot easier for you to start communicating with them.

These are just some of the things that you have to keep in mind when you want to become an extrovert.

Categories: Personality